i feel so silly…. just now i was in such a good mood… happily putting aside my morning sadness… unfortunately, i was fooled… the biggest crush was happening behind the scenes, which will upset me for a very, very long time…he use to say that 8am to 5.30pm was mine…. but no, it was filled with so many others…. then he said ip was mine… and now, tat is no longer applicable either….seems like everyday will bring me new discovery of the limit that i am beginning to have with him… is he doing this conciusly? or is this a sign of some sort to say that it’s about to end soon?
y is it tat, when he needs me the most, i make sure that i am there for him, but after that, all of them will suddenly come in between us? do i have finish my share of it? is it time to move on and pass on?
i don have any more private moments…. it’s all filled, one by one with all these ppl… these characters, that are still a question mark to their motives… their ideas.. their wants…. have i put too much of myself in this already?was i naive in thinking that it will be as it is….? he might tell me tat it will be the same as it is… but how can i handle the fact now that there is another there… just a slight distance by the highway… and nearer still via the network….
he says i am making simple thing complicated… is it really? or is he the one who made a good thing bad? he’s always filled with being good to others… wat has happened to being good to those around u first?
i have always prepared myself for the worse, but i dunno wat and how i would feel, after all the effort to get to where we are, is destroyed, by his little so called act of kindness…. how and wat should i do, if i see the ip? it’s like so much easier for her to find him now…. it’s scary….
another sleepless nite for me then….
